Unfortunately, manipulation in the workplace is standard, and learning how to handle manipulative coworkers and employees is an essential leadership skill.
This guide will provide an overview of manipulation, explain why it’s essential to address and give actionable steps any leader can take to deal with manipulative behavior professionally and effectively.
What Is Manipulation?
Manipulation involves influencing someone in an underhanded, deceptive, or exploitative way to serve the manipulator’s agenda.
A manipulative person will use tactics like guilt trips, gaslighting, flattery, and more to get what they want or gain power over others.
Background On Manipulators In Business
There are a few common types of manipulative people found in many workplaces:
- The passive-aggressive coworker who makes subtle digs and avoids direct conflict.
- The favor-seeker who butters people up to get help with tasks.
- The credit-thief who presents others’ ideas as their own.
- The victim uses guilt to extract sympathy and shirk responsibility.
- The gaslighter who distorts facts to confuse and disorient.
Identifying and responding to these problematic behaviors is critical for any leader. If left unchecked, manipulation erodes trust, productivity, and morale.
Why Learn To Handle Manipulators?
As a leader, it’s critical to curb manipulation to:
- Protect your team – Prevent manipulation from spreading and impacting others.
- Safeguard the company culture – Maintain an ethical, fair environment.
- Coach manipulators to improve – With the right approach, some may change their ways.
- Defend your boundaries – Don’t enable mistreatment of yourself.
Handling manipulation properly helps sustain a healthy, collaborative workplace.
7 Steps To Deal With Manipulative People
When faced with manipulation, use these best practices:
- Stay calm – Don’t act rashly or sink to their level.
- Collect information – Document specific examples of the behavior.
- Confront directly – Express concerns professionally.
- Set boundaries – Be clear on what behavior won’t be tolerated.
- Offer support – Sometimes, insecurity drives manipulation.
- Involve others – Enlist HR’s help, especially with repeat offenders.
- Keep composure – Reacting emotionally may escalate the situation.
Challenges In Handling Manipulation
Of course, dealing with manipulators has its difficulties:
- Manipulative people can be adept at hiding their behavior.
- Proof of manipulation can be scarce without witnesses.
- Company politics sometimes shelter habitual manipulators.
- There are risks of retaliation if mishandled.
However, following the steps outlined here, you can address manipulation strategically and level-headedly.
10 Positive Ways To Respond To Manipulation
When faced with a manipulator, aim to:
- Project confidence.
- State your needs clearly.
- Set firm boundaries.
- Point out inconsistencies calmly.
- Ask clarifying questions.
- Build empathy.
- Offer to help meet needs appropriately.
- Express appreciation for valid concerns.
- Model direct communication.
- Focus on the facts.
Conclusion
Dealing with manipulative employees, coworkers, and bosses is an inevitable part of leadership.
However, leaders can professionally handle manipulators by identifying manipulation tactics, understanding motivations, confronting issues compassionately yet firmly, and setting clear expectations.
This protects individuals and fosters a culture of trust and respect for all.
With time and consistency, those who rely on manipulation may even reform their behavior and become more constructive team members.
With 30+ years of training experience, I founded Oak Innovation (oakinnovation.com) in 1995. I help busy training professionals and business managers deliver better training courses in less time by giving them instant access to editable training course material. I received my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees from University College Cork. I hold qualifications in Professional Development And Training from University College Galway. Clients include Apple, Time Warner, and Harvard University.
